Redefining Masculinity: Stories from Men at Greene King

For International Men’s Day, we’re shining a light on what masculinity means today. Not the stereotypes, not the expectations, but the lived experiences of men who are reshaping what strength, vulnerability, leadership and partnership look like. These stories from colleagues across Greene King show how redefining masculinity can create healthier workplaces, homes and communities.

Growing up, I absorbed the usual messages about what it meant to be a man - be tough, don’t cry, don’t talk too much about feelings. And when I started working, I saw those same ideas play out in leadership: being decisive, being in control, keeping things professional and distant.

But over time, especially in my role, I’ve realised that those traits weren’t helping anyone thrive – least of all the leaders themselves. Supporting people through difficult moments, whether it’s a change, grievance, a mental health challenge, or just feeling unheard, has taught me that the most powerful thing a man can do is to show up with empathy, humility and emotional intelligence.

I’ve had conversations where someone’s opened up about something deeply personal, and I’ve seen how powerful it is when a man responds with care and vulnerability, rather than trying to ‘solve’ it or brush it off. That’s not weakness - it’s strength. And it’s something I try to model every day.

Redefining masculinity, for me, is about showing up differently. It’s about being emotionally available, being honest when I don’t have all the answers, and creating space for others to do the same. It’s also about challenging the idea that men have to lead from the front all the time. Sometimes the most impactful thing you can do is step back, listen, and support. I’ve seen how this approach changes culture. When men lead with empathy, it gives others permission to do the same. It builds trust. It makes work feel more human.

So this International Men’s Day, I’m proud to be part of a shift towards a version of masculinity that’s grounded in kindness, courage, and connection. And I hope more of us keep leaning into that too!

I’ve been married for over 25 years, and one reason for the longevity is that we minimise stereotypes. If there is a task to do the team will do it. Whichever one of us can do it effectively at that time. There are no silos. No egos.

Yes. Sometimes I do it wrong. After 25 years it is important to have something to talk about!

From a young age, I grew up with a clear sense of what men were "supposed" to be. Within many British Asian and South Asian communities, masculinity often came with a quiet set of expectations: be strong, earn well, and provide for the family. Even in a more balanced family, there were unspoken rules in the background. Emotions were seen as weakness, creative or “fancy” interests weren’t for boys, and cooking or housework quietly fell into the domain of women.

Yet that never stopped me from leaning into what I loved: clothes, jewellery, literature, cooking, and later, poetry. Choosing those interests wasn’t always easy, but looking back, embracing them was one of the most masculine things I’ve ever done. I realised that avoiding the emotional, creative parts of myself didn’t make me more of a man. True masculinity lies in the confidence to face your fears, especially the fear of what others might think, and still choose to be yourself.

Now, as I plan my wedding, I’m fully involved in the details, the flowers, the colours, the food — all things that were masked as 'untraditional' for a guy growing up. For me, it’s not about doing more “feminine” things to redefine masculinity; it’s about following what feels natural and meaningful, rather than chasing an idea of what being a man should look like. As men, we can be strong, leaders, and protectors, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be vulnerable, sympathetic, and emotional.

I’ve learned that masculinity doesn’t have a single shape. For me, it’s kindness, vulnerability, expressing myself, supporting the people I love, and standing in my truth.